What are these tears for?
by AutumnIsOnFire
Summary: She always wanted to stay within the reach of his gaze, but with him gone, she must find some strength that will push her to carry on. Rain x Machika
1. Introduction

**What are these tears for? **

By Soulbird

**Introduction **

_I've walked down this road,_

_I've prayed with these hands,_

_I've watched the calmness of these waves._

_Before,_

_With you._

_I don't know what these tears are for,_

_Wipe them away and they just keep coming._

_I can't, I won't, I wouldn't, without you._

_Why?_

_Why can't I get rid of these feelings on longing?_

_Why won't you come when I call your name?_

_I always wished to sleep within the reach of your hand._

_I always wished to walk within the reach of your gaze._

_I always wished to live within the reach of your kiss._

_Longing, needing, hoping, wishing._

_Is that what these tears are for?_

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Machika brought her foot up to the cracked ridge, if this was it, there wasn't long now.

Her breaths turned into puffs of delicate white smoke as she searched the horizon.

She was looking for something.

Her eyes scanned the snowy wastelands, flicking here and there, full of hope. Her eyes were always full of hope, but also, full of sorrow, full of a longing for someone who was no longer there.

There was no clue as to where to go and no trace of who she was looking for, but still, she kept searching, and she had been searching for almost ten days.

All of a sudden, she felt something move around her ankle, it moved slowly and steadily, Machika didn't look down, it might anger it. She slowly moved out her arm and gradually pulled her shining sickle from her back.

In a quick flash she turned and swung hard to the ground.

It dodged and jumped to the side, hissing a little.

"Kiki," she sighed, "Don't scare me like that." Machika said, lowering her sickle and sighing.

Kiki brushed her tail across the icy terrain before jumping briskly onto Machika's shoulder.

Machika smiled.

"It's going to take some time, Kiki. But we'll get there in the end," she said, jumping down from the tall ledge.

As she walked further, the snow began to fall, crystal white and ever flowing.

Machika pulled up her hood, and walked gracefully on, through the glistening snow.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

_Living so long._

_Loving for so little time._

_Is that what life was supposed to be like?_

_To live would to be caught up in a amazing adventure._

_To die would be to be caught up in an everlasting dream._

_Ultimate loneliness._

_Ultimate sadness._

_Wipe those feelings away like you would a tear on your cheek._

_I breathe air tainted with blood._

_You breathe air filled with the most delicate adoration._

_The first gift I gave her was snow._

_The first gift she gave me was death._

_The first gift I gave you was my name._

_The first gift you gave me was your love._

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Rain?"

"Rain?"

The man stirred at the sound of his name. He looked all around but couldn't move. Paralysed, he looked in confusion.

"Where am I?" he asked the darkness, his eyes steady and dark.

No one replied.


	2. Strength

**What Are These Tears For?**

**Chapter 1 – Strength**

Machika bowed to the altar before turning to leave.

It was the twentieth chapel she had prayed in that year, but had sat, as solemn as a wounded dove and prayed, cupping her hands together she prayed for her journey to end and for her to find the thing missing from her life.

The year had gone slowly, and it had gone painfully. There was always something missing, when she ate, she turned, expecting to see a warm kind smile, but instead she found nothing, only loneliness.

"You look like you're looking for someone, when you sit during your prayers," came a voice from the shadows.

Machika turned, "Who's there?" she asked.

The man emerged, his hands raised, "I'm just a humble monk, my dear," he smiled.

"How can you tell I'm looking for someone?" she asked.

"Your face, it looks so determined, your mouth, it speaks pleas, and your tears, well, your tears represent strength," he said, lighting up a candle.

"Strength? I don't think so," Machika replied, "If anything, they'll represent cowardice,"

"Why is that?" he asked.

"Because, when I pray, through my hope and courage, I always seem to cry a few simple tears, I see them as weakness, if these tears hadn't fallen, maybe I'd have found what I'm looking for by now," she said, forcing a half-hearted smile.

"Maybe," he nodded, "But I can see you've been searching for a long time, and through your hard comes, you still manage to find faith and that, I believe to be strength."

Machika couldn't find anything to say. She smiled and raised a hand as a goodbye gesture and ran off into the night.

IIIIIIIIII

The warehouse stood, like an abandoned giant, sitting in the vast, open desert.

"What do you think, Kiki?" Machika asked the creature as it entwined it's tail around her leg.

Kiki didn't do anything to give an answer, it merely hung its head humbly as if nodding.

"Yes," said Machika, "I think so too,"

The warehouse looked empty and run-down as if it had not been touched for hundreds of years, it would be a perfect resting place for the night.

Kiki ran ahead, taking strong bountiful leaps, gracing the desert sands.

Machika walked nimbly behind. Her hair fell a little below her shoulders now, there was no sue cutting it off, for it grew back in no time, and her sickle was growing to blunt to cut it. Machika didn't even know why she carried the sickle, over the year, it had become rounded and blunt as ever, and all it did was pose extra weight. But she carried it religiously, like a good luck talisman.

A cloud of dust flew into the air as Machika opened the creaky door to the warehouse.

"Kiki?" she whispered, walking around in the dark.

There was silence, until she turned a corner, and heard a voice spoke.

"Oh, Hello there," it said, gruffly.

Machika heard Kiki purr in approval.

"You remind me of a creature I knew a while back," it said.

Machika took a step backwards, she had heard that voice before, she knew that voice.

"Rain?" she whispered into the darkness, clutching her hands together in hope.

"Machika?" came the reply.

"Rain? Is it really you?" she asked, taking a few steps further.

"Yes, but I can't see you," he said.

She held her hands out to the darkness until she felt a smooth warm hand, he was doing the same, and the hands grabbed her by the arms and pulled her closer into an embrace.

She wrapped her arms around his neck lovingly and she held tight.

"I thought I'd never see you again," she said, a tear falling down her cheek,

"Look," she said, laughing, "I'm crying,"

He said nothing, but she knew he was crying too.

"What happened to you Rain?" she asked.

"I don't remember," he said.

"You don't remember anything?" she asked.

"I woke up around a hundred miles from here and I've been wandering ever since, don't tell me you've been searching for me all this time?" he said,

"Of course I have," she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why? Well, the last thing you said to be was to live, but how could I live when the only thing I live for is you? You're all I have!" she cried.

He didn't reply, he merely held her closer.

"Why did you come in here?" he said, after a few moments,

"I needed a place to rest," she replied.

"That's why I came in here too, do you still want to rest?" he asked,

"Suddenly, I don't feel like resting anymore," she said, wiping away a tear.

The walked out of the warehouse and looked up at the sun.

"I like your hair like that," rain said, twisting a lock around his finger.

She smiled.

"Hey look," Machika said, pointing upwards, "An aircraft,"

Rain looked up, "I don't think that it- -MACHIKA! MOVE!" Rain shouted, pushing her out of the way, as an explosion hit the valley.

The aircraft loomed nearer the ground. A ladder draped from the side, and a familiar heeled boot placed itself on the first ridge. The woman pulled back her mask.

"Wow," she said, "You're a good hider Methuselah, but not good enough, we didn't expect you to have departed so soon," said Sharem, smiling.

"You should have guarded me more closely," Rain said, his eyebrows narrowing,

"Well, that wasn't our fault, we expected you to be unconscious for about another week," she frowned.

"What do you want?" shouted Machika,

"Ah, you've still got the runt with you," Sharem pointed out.

"I said, what do you want?" Machika repeated.

Sharem shot Rain with a small dart, he sloped to the ground, unconscious.

"I want Methuselah. Alone," she said, as she aimed a heavy blow at Machika's head. Machika ducked and rolled.

"Ah, I see your dodging skills have improved," Sharem smiled.

Machika kicked Sharem down to the ground, Sharem grabbed Machika by the shoulders and slammed her head off the ground.

She was out.

"Ah, well, that takes care of that," Sharem smiled.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIII

"Rain?"

"Rain?"

Rain stirred and awoke,

"You've been out for a while," came the dark snake-like voice.

"Yuca," said Rain, "Where's Machika?"

"The girl you mean? She's in the dungeon," smiled Yuca, "for now,"

"Just set her free," Rain said,

"Can't do that, set it free and it'll just come running again, to be frank, I'm tired of her antics," Yuca said.

"If you touch her, I'll-"

"No. I'll set her free, but you must make sure she'll never come back." Yuca said.

"What?" Rain asked, confused.

"I want you to tell her you don't love her. I want you to hurt her, hurt her so much she'll never want to come near you again. That's the only way you can save her," Yuca said.

"I can't," Rain said.

"Then I'll kill her." Said Yuca.

"You-" Rain started angrily.

"Hey, I'm giving you the choice. You can save her, or you can send her to death." Yuca smiled.

"I can't do that to her!" said Rain.

"Why not?" asked Yuca.

"Because, if I tell her that," Rain paused, "She'll give up living anyway," he ended quietly.

Yuca shook his head, confused,

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"She told me that I was the only reason she had to live. She told me without me, she _couldn't _live," Rain said, shedding a tear.

Yuca smiled again, "Wow. You've grown conceited. I never expected that of you,"

Rain jerked his head up, furious, "Shut up!" he shouted.

"I'm making this clear. I'm giving you a choice. You either tell her you don't love her and send her away, or she's killed. I think it's an easy decision, don't you?" Yuca said.

Yuca shut off the light and left Rain alone in the dark.


	3. Pain

Note: Thak you to my reviewer Arwey! Thanks for your reviews, they mean a lot to me! In reference to your question, this is my own take on what would happen after the fourth book, in other words, book five and six were non-existant.

**What Are These Tears For?**

**Chapter 2 – Pain**

The dungeon door opened with a small creak.

"Rain?" Machika said, softly, "Is that you?" she asked.

He paused for a while, "Yes, it's me,"

"What-" she started.

"I don't want you to follow me any more." He said.

"What do you mea-?" she said, with almost a hint of humour in her voice.

"I don't want you to come with me once I leave here." He said again.

"But, I don't get it, Rain," she said, crawling closer.

"I don't need you with me. Not now. Not ever," he said, staying close to the doorway.

"If this is some weird way to protect me from something, forget it, I'm not-" she said, but her voice quavered, as if unsure.

"I'm not protecting you," he said bluntly, "Do I have to say it again? I don't need you with me."

"But Rain-" she said, sounding hurt.

"What's the matter with you? Can't you see that I don't want your company? I can't even look at you!" he said, raising his voice.

_Your words._

_So sharp,_

_They cut me like a knife._

Silently, a small tear ran down her cheek.

His glare softened. He looked at the girl who sat before him, crying for him. He watched as her tears fell, and he couldn't bear it.

_Your tears._

_So full of pain._

_I can't let you cry for me._

_Not again._

_Let me wipe away these painful tears._

_I love you._

Rain quivered, before falling to his knees, he grabbed her close and held her tightly.

"Don't!" she said sharply, "I don't need your pity! I don't want your scorn, I don't need it, Rain!"

"I'm sorry." He said, holding her tighter, "I made you cry again,"

"Then why hurt me?" she said, tilting her head.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Then why-" she asked.

"Listen to me Machika. Yuca gave me a choice, he told me that I either tell you I don't love you so you'll never come looking for me, or he'd kill you." He said.

Machika didn't say anything.

"We need to get out, he'll eventually findout I haven't done what he said, how can we ge-" Rain said, beginning to stand.

"Very brave, Rain," came a sharp snake-like voice from the doorway, "I never thought you'd put her life in jeopardy like this,"

"Yuca!" Rain cried, angrily.

Yuca raised a gun in one slick movement, his eyes deep and his mouth unmoving. He aimed the gun at Machika.

"Machika, Run!" Rain shouted.

Yuca shot, but Rain shielded the speeding bullet from Machika.

"Run!" he shouted.

Machika stayed frozen.

"Machika! Run! Now!" rain said, even louder.

"But what if-" she started.

"I'll be fine, now go!" Rain shouted.

Yuca shot again, and again, Rain took the bullet.

Slowly Machika stood up, and little by little she began to pick up pace, eventually, she sped around the corner.

"I'll get her eventually, she's so delicate and small, you can barely touch her before she'll break," Yuca smiled.

"I'll protect her," Rain said, his eyebrows narrowing.

Yuca laughed, "You're funny Rain, maybe I should kill you again, _then _you can't protect her, but think of it, last time you tried to protect her, you were killed in front of her, that must have been so _painful _for her, think, if it was to happen again," Yuca laughed.

Machika listened from behind the wall.

_If I lost you again,_

_I don't think I could find the strength to go on._

_Is it worth the risk?_

_Is it worth the pain?_

_Is it worth the tears?_

_I can't lose you again._

_I will be the one to protect you._

_I'm sick of these tears, _

_I can't take that pain again._

_I need you forever_

_I need you beyond eternity_

_You are my Light._

"RAIN!" she shouted, sprinting round the corner as fast as she could.

"I knew she would be listening," Yuca said, turning around quickly.

The bullet left the pistol like a dash of lightning to the ground. Machika fell gracefully, like an old rag doll, till eventually she landed on the cold stone ground.

The stone dungeon was silent, until, outside, a shower of rain began to fall.


	4. Uncertainty

**A/N: **Uwaaah. Havn't been writing for a while. Have mainly been distracted by other things, but I thought I'd sit down and write a chapter of 'What are these tears for?' Sorry its taken its time to get here, but better late than never, right?

**What are these tears for?**

**Chapter 3 – Uncertainty**

_A Long, selfless silence._

_A far-away dream._

_Can I take you with me?_

_You are as fragile as a dove,_

_But your tears are filled with strength._

_Can you still accompany me down this winding road?_

_A feather falls through tainted wind,_

_Is it a blessing from an angel?_

_Or a wilting emblem of doubt?_

_Even thinking of loosening this tightly gripped hand,_

_Would seem like such a foolish thing to do._

_But even so, you begin to slip from these fingers._

_You begin to fall, you begin to fade._

_If I cannot catch you and pull you back up into my reach,_

_I don't think I could go on._

_I want you by my side._

_I want your hand entwined with mine._

_Can you still dance with me?_

_Can you still dance through this everlasting banquet? _

_Even when you're gone?_

A single traveller walked through the village. His face showed no emotion, but his eyes told tales of loss. As he passed through their streets, as he walked through their markets, the people began to whisper of the single traveller, they wondered of his past, they wondered to when he would leave, they wondered what was in the bundle he bore so devotedly on his back. The next day, the traveller left the village and moved on to the next one. Then, he reached another village, where the residents would ponder over the curious traveller, until; after weeks of drifting, he met with a long, winding road.

"Not long now," he muttered, beginning to walk.

As night grew to a close, he rested his bundle and violin against a cave wall, and took shelter from the bitter rain. He slept, but his dreams were filled with tainted smiles and vindictive malice. It was a never-ending circle for this man. Sitting alone, sleeping with these infected dreams and travelling to his destination.

The man the townspeople called 'Rain' this was because when he entered their towns, he would somehow bring the rain with him, and take it when he left.

It was funny really, for his name _was_ Rain, and he did take the rain with him, as he did his tears.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

_Step Up_

_Take this chance_

_Your happiness is all I need to take with me._

_You know that, right?_

_You know that I will always be with you._

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Rain woke from his dreams in a cold sweat. It was a long time since that voice had echoed through his mind. He stood, and began to continue up the path.

"You must be crazy, traveller, drifting up these mountains," came a slow, cheerful voice.

"This path leads to the mountains?" asked Rain, surprised.

The man laughed, "Sure, and dangerous ones to match that,"

He was a short, round man, with a large, wrinkled forehead, half covered by the shadow of a large, flat cap placed over his head. He wore a green trench coat, bulging with different trinkets and charms, two woven barrels were strapped around his waist, they must've been heavy, for the man was stooped over, watching Rain with small, bright eyes and a beaming smile.

"I'm getting close," said Rain quietly.

"I'm Furl, a humble peddler, what is your name?" asked the peddler, stretching out his hand.

Rain shook it, "My name is Rain," he said.

"What brings you to this part of the country?" asked Furl,

"Something I need to do," replied Rain.

"What's in your bundle, traveller?" asked Furl.

Rain didn't reply.

"That's okay," smiled Furl, "It's none of my business,"

"It's a body," replied Rain, forlornly.

Furl's beady eyes widened in surprise. He said nothing.

"It's the body of the girl I once loved," said Rain, looking away.

"Why do you carry the body of your lost loved one? Surely it isn't healthy to hold on to the past-" Furl began.

"I'm not holding onto the past!" snapped Rain,

"Then why-?" asked Furl.

"I'm going to bury her. She would've wanted to have been buried with her grandfather, so I'm travelling back to her hometown." Said Rain.

Furl nodded, grimly, "I see, traveller,"

Rain carried on up the path.

"Hold on," shouted Furl, from behind.

Rain turned.

"What if I told you that you could see her again?" asked Furl.

Rain looked confused, "I'd think you're crazy,"

Furl reached into one of the baskets, and produced a single blue stone.

Furl reached out his hand to Rain, "Take it," he said.

Rain looked baffled, "How can a stone let me see her again?" he asked.

"Just take it," said Furl, dropping it into Rain's hand.

Rain examined the stone, it was an icy blue colour, with veins of white running through it, the surface was smooth and shiny, it wasn't like any stone he'd ever seen.

"What is it?" asked Rain.

"A wish stone," said Furl, "This stone grants you anything you desire, anything that you want, it's yours, if you want it,"

"How much?" asked Rain

Furl thought for a moment, he smiled, "It's free,"

"Free?" asked Rain

"I'm giving it to you," said Furl, before beginning to head off down the path.

Rain looked at the stone in contemplation.

"I'm meant to believe that this works?" Rain called after him, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe you do, maybe you don't, I bet that won't stop you from trying it though," said Furl with a knowing smile, he raised his hat in a farewell gesture, "Goodbye, traveller," he said, before continuing down the path without a glance back.

Rain looked at the stone in disbelief, he dropped it into his pocket before continuing up the mountain, his eyes forever watching the road in front of him.

It was a stormy, tedious day. The day when Rain would use the stone. The wind raged and whipped between the weak spindly trees and there was a smell of smoke hanging in the air. The sky was a dim grey, like a watercolour painting. Rain stood on the mountain barricade, looking up at the blotched clouds, when, the rain began to fall. Like a song, it fell as if in rhythm and melody. At first it was light, continuously dripping and falling coldly, then, as Rain climbed higher, the rain got heavier and heavier until they were like falling nails, piercing into the mountain edge and into Rain's flesh. He grimaced, climbing onto a rocky ledge, nowhere near as out of contact with the freezing cold rain. He sighed and breathed in heavily. For one of the first times in his life, he truly wished everything could all be over. The grey sky became darker and darker, and the rain began to fall lighter and lighter. Soon, everything was lighter. If there was someone who'd never before felt the pain of loss and loneliness before, they'd consider it a complete blessing, as, of now, Rain couldn't feel any darker. Without thought, he closed his eyes. If she was here, he wouldn't even be bothered by the cold rain or the heavy winds, if she was here, maybe he could find a tiny amount of strength. But she wasn't. And there wasn't anything that anybody could do. Not even a small, round man with a peddler's cap. Rain thrust the blue stone across the ground. The stone rolled across the rocky surface and lay still. Rain looked at it and couldn't believe what he was seeing. The stone, that had one lay dim and icy, was now a tremendous royal blue colour, and letting off an array of shining lights.

Rain picked up the stone in hi palm. It felt so warm, and the lights were so bright. He sighed. If there was ever a time to believe in myths. This would be it. He held the stone close to his heart and thought.

On one hand, he could free himself of his immortality. His nightmare would truly be over, he could live a life of somebody normal. Somebody who had the chance to live and to die. But, nobody knew the path of the underworld. Nobody knew if it was a place that you had to face alone. Nobody knew if anything existed at all. If he died, without seeing Machika again, he couldn't face it. So, the only option would be to bring her back. They had promised together that they would stay together and break Rain's immortality. Everything could continue as normal and Rain would smile again. Rain sighed. Feeling unlearned and confused, but even so, he grasped his hand around the warm, glowing stone and began to wish with all of his strength, he began to pray and to hope, he only thought about one desire as he held the stone tight and continued to do so until he fell into a deep sleep, underneath the pouring rain.


End file.
